Build A Better World

Suffering

2010-12-17T10:12:00.000-08:00

What is it about suffering that makes us cringe, run, hide, fight, cry? The first rule of Buddhism is that life IS suffering.

It seems to me that there are different types and levels of suffering, two of which I want to address. The first is experiential suffering. The suffering that arises from an event, an accident, some external unknown that dramatically changes one life in a difficult way. A death of a friend, a hurting family member, one's own physical sickness, loss, betrayal, and disappointment.

I have spent much of my life trying to understand these events in a way that is "unattached." To look at them not in the moment but in the grander scheme of my life, my community, and my world. I thought that I could become like the saints and bodhisattvas, above this pain, that my mind could control my reaction to suffering.

I don't believe this so much any more. To suffer, to feel sadness, anger, disappointment, pain generally speaking, is human. It is us and to deny this is to deny the benefits of growth and struggle.

A second type of suffering does not come from a particular event but rather the revisiting of events or expectations about future events. It is a suffering that is not real in the present moment, a suffering that we re-live because we have not fully embraced or accepted it. Although it may sound harsh, I once heard a woman who was talking about her experience of being raped decades ago, be asked by another woman, "And how many times have you raped yourself since?" The truth was powerful and clear. We create our own suffering so much of the time.

Written more for me than for anyone else, I ask us to look at our daily thoughts, those that reach into the past or future and ask "Why?" Why am I bringing this up? How do these thoughts, fears, anxieties, regrets, old sins, and sadness serve me in this moment? My response when I am really clear is, "It doesn't."

Let us return to where we are, with whom we are, to what we are doing in the present and be. Yes, we will need time to sort through the roots of these thoughts and examine them, wrestle with them, and eventually make peace with them. But now, NOW, we should be present.

Gringo Book

2010-06-15T12:42:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,
I wanted to let you know that I just finished a book draft. It is called, "How to be a Conscientious Christian Gringo:12 Steps to Affecting Long-term Change in Yourself and the World."

Please feel free to read it (there is a PDF version below) and let me know what you think.

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~alani005/gringobook/index.htm

Understanding Haiti

2010-06-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

There are no words to describe the situation in Haiti. The first
adjectives that come to mind can only help paint a verbal mosaic of
what I feel—difficulty, despair, suffering, hopelessness,
impossibility,--mixed with fight, survival, singing, international
unity, strength, belief, resilience, small successes, and hope. The
emotional swing that comes from seeing the tent cities and men
fist-fighting for a bag of rice to receiving a hug and a smile from a
child at the NPH orphanage is almost too much. I have never in all of
my travels had such drastically different experiences.

As you know, I am an optimist. I love to see the silver lining in
everything. Here in Port-au-Prince the silver lining is faint. As
one long-term French NGO worker told me, “The boat is lost. It is the
individuals, the children, the small successes that make this work
worthwhile.” I don’t know. I don’t know if the nation is a lost
cause or if it can be saved. I don’t know if the people who have the
power are willing to give up their corrupt ways, if voodoo beliefs
that divide people can be mitigated, if the international community is
willing to give the nation economic opportunities to grow, and if
Haitians are willing to work their butt off to make these changes.

What I do know is that this is the last chance for Haiti. If it is
not successful in its current development effort I believe the
international community will give up and Haiti will become a failed state like Somalia or Zimbabwe.

But I do have hope. The children of Haiti can be raised and educated
to create a different nation. There is a resiliency that must be

nurtured and there are natural resources to be developed. Indeed, as
you may know I am working with a group of professionals to build a
community of 1,200-1,500 houses, a clothing manufacturing factory, two
schools, a clinic, etc. in Jacmel, about three hours south of
Port-au-Prince. It is my hope that through an NGO-resident
partnership we can create a model community that can be replicated
throughout the country. I’ll keep you up-to-date as we progress.

I have prepared a short presentation on my experience here which I
look forward to sharing both in Minnesota and in California. I will
let you know where and when so that if you are interested you can
come.

I have also uploaded a number of photos. Please feel free to browse
through the to have a better sense of the current state of Haiti.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/creativeapps/slideShow/Main.jsp?albumId=753164907803

ak afeksyon (with affection),
ryan

A little Saint Francis

2009-12-28T18:21:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite quotes:

"I believe the great Almsgiver will charge me with theft if I do not give what I have to one who needs it more."

--St. Francis of Assisi

This is the crucifix of San Damiano that was beloved by St. Fracis. This was taken in his hermitage cave a few kilometers uphill from the center of Assisi. The cave is in a beautiful forest with a small (now dry) creek running below.

Burning in effigy el Año Viejo

2009-12-25T08:16:00.001-08:00

Much like the ball dropping in Time Square, Honduras and almost all Latin American countries maintain a tradition of burning an effigy of a man who symbolizes el Año Viejo (the old year). It begins about the first week in December when adolescent boys build a life-sized reproduction of a Honduran man using whatever clothes and filling they can find. The man is often overweight, drunk, smoking a cigarette and slouching with his face covered with a sombrero. They then masquerade around the mannequin requesting money from all. Adults and children alike place their one or two Lempiras (between 5 and 10 cents) in a two-liter plastic coke bottle as a gesture of support for what will happen at 12:00am on January 1^st. In this moment, el Año Viejo who had been previously stuffed with firecrackers bought with the donated funds, is lit and the symbol for all of the bad that occurred the previous years is blown up and burned. This ritual of purification that may have origins with the Romans offers those involved a powerful tool to leave the negative behind and move forward with their lives.

In this time of renewal for many faiths and cultures, we wish you and yours a successful version of Año Viejo and the joy that comes from beginning anew.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Ryan, Elizabeth and Santiago

Our team

2009-12-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share a picture of our research team. I named our organization "Proyecto Para El Desarrollo Communitario."

From left to right we have:
Selvin, Yuny, Luis, Mario, Jessica, Nahun, Santiago and I, and Carlos.

I am so proud of the work they are doing conducting surveys and gathering information for me about the communities. I could not do this work without them.

Random Act of Kindness

2009-12-06T14:06:00.001-08:00

Today, as Santiago and I were out on a walk to pick up trash as we do about once a week, a young couple approached us and began to ask us some questions. They were visiting from Teguc. enjoying the river in La Divina. Their questions were the usual demographic and why are you here-type questions.

Then the woman surprised me. She said, "You know we were talking about how you are an example to the rest of the community. You, a foreigner, are willing to do something that the community itself is not willing to do. Your picking up trash makes people reflect on what they do with their garbage and why."

I was taken aback for a moment. I indeed did want the community to stop throwing trash on the ground and had hoped that if they saw a clean path, perhaps they would refrain from the practice. However, I didn't realize that my position as a foreigner reiterated the point.

I am glad to pick up garbage (at least for now) as it gives me a chance to chat with Santiago, it gets me outside, and we are doing something positive for the world however small and perhaps unsuccessful (in terms of long-term change) it might be. In fact, the activity gives me a sense of peace and joy. No, it is not breaking down structures of inequality or the matrix of domination that maintains suffering, but, damn it, it is something concrete that on our walk tomorrow I can smile about.

I guess I am finding that I need to have a little bit of both--critiquing practices of injustice while also offering solutions AND doing small random acts of kindness.

Santiago and Ryan on the Fulbright website

2009-12-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

Santiago and I were recently featured on the Fulbright website. You can check it out at the link below:

http://usfulbrightstudent.blogspot.com/

Can a soccer league save a community?

2009-11-25T15:57:00.000-08:00

I think so. I will be implementing a social experiment in a post-disaster community which is going through a major transition from dependency on an NGO to self-reliance. The most critical component the leadership wants to protect is the communities low delinquency rate. In order to do so, I am helping to plan a long-term soccer tournament that will involve the majority of the community. In order to inscribe, each team must do a service project for the community.

The benefits are numerous:
high civic participation by members
increased social capital within the community (greater trust among members)
a healthy outlet for youth and young adults, especially men
a cleaner, better infrastructure (due to the service projects)
the youth will learn the value of service to the community
playing soccer has wonder health benefits
we may be training future world cup stars

So, perhaps soccer can save the world--beginning at the community level.

Fundamental imbalance

2009-11-18T06:55:00.000-08:00

"Following James Wolfensohn, the ex-president of the World Bank, there exists a 'fundamental imbalance,' the world spends 900 billion dollars on defense, 325 billion dollars on agriculture subsidies, and only between 50 and 60 billion dollars on development aid."
From a UNDP study on crime in Honduras

Según James Wolfensohn, ex presidente del Banco Mundial, existe un “desequilibrio fundamental”, el mundo gasta 900 mil millones de dólares en defensa, unos 325 mil millones de dólares en subvenciones a la agricultura y sólo entre 50 y 60 mil millones de dólares en ayudas al desarrollo. IANSA - www.armasbajocontrol.org

We plant the seeds that one day grow

2009-11-11T20:11:00.001-08:00

The picture above is the bedroom of Archbishop of El Salvador Oscar Romero when he was murdered in 1981. The second picture is of a friend, Erick, a Franciscan friar standing in front of the late Archbishop's grave. Romero's story is a beautiful one of conversion and sacrifice for the poor. Indeed, activists throughout Latin America continue to call on his spirit for inspiration.

I do the same below, citing one of his most famous homilies.

“It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view. The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us…We plant the seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs. We are prophets of a future not our own.”

When in doubt

2009-11-11T20:02:00.001-08:00

"Whenever you are in doubt, apply the following test: recall the face of the poorest and weakest person you may have seen and ask yourself if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to them."
--Mahatma Gandhi

Wage Inequality

2009-11-01T20:06:00.001-08:00

Local wages in Honduras 2009

Minimum wage: About $1.75 an hour (though it only specifies a wage total per month)

Housecleaning wage: About $1 an hour not including travel time (1.5-2 hours each way) or expense (about $2)

Housecleaning wage with the above included: About $.65 an hour

Manual labor wage: About $9 a day or $1 an hour

In many local markets or street stalls, vendors have trouble breaking a 100 Lempira bill that is equal to about $5.50.

Elizabeth pays a local adolescent girl about $1.50-2 an hour to sweep and mop our floors twice a week.

I pay my assistant twice her previous salary as a Catholic Church social worker. She receives a "generous" wage of $2 an hour to help me with data collection. I was told by a number of NGO workers not to overpay those helping me as it may lead to: dependency of the individual on a foreigner; jealousy among other community members; it changes power dynamics in the family and society; etc. Although I do not believe all of these are reason enough to underpay someone, I do believe there is some validity in being cautious. In consulation with other Honduran friends, I decided upon the above number.

Lunch including drink can cost anywhere from $3 to $5 per person in the community. Dinner tonight cost Elizabeth and I about $4.50 for us both. I took two Spaniards, who work for a major development NGO in Honduras, out to lunch a couple of weeks ago in Teguc and mistakenly allowed them to decide where we were to eat. It cost me upwards of $45…a valuable but expensive lesson.

What the hell am I doing here? Honduras update 6

2009-11-01T19:24:00.001-08:00

"Ever have a moment when you wonder 'How did I get here?'"

Recently this happened to me while standing on the side of a highway waiting for the second of two buses to bring me home. The bus stop is a dirt patch at the confluence of a major highway and a road leading up into the mountains. About a half dozen chickens meander around my feet, looking for scraps of nutrition among the grass patches. All too often one ventures too close to the road and is quickly run off squawking by a roaring bus or car followed by a plume of smoke. It is an amusing sight. In addition, cattle are occasionally herded across the highway to find better pastures. Today a boy on a horse, maybe 11 years old, shuffles his dozen or so cows forcing traffic to stop impatiently. A couple of men and women gather near me and on the other side of the road also waiting for different buses. They take solace in the shade of a road sign knowing the wait will be near an hour. But I have hope that today will be different and if I look hard enough perhaps I can will the bus to come sooner.

As I stood there in the hot sun after a long day of interviews and ethnographic data collection, I wonder about all the small decisions that brought me to this place in this moment. I think of all the people who enabled me to advance academically and all of those supported along the way. I also smile thinking of all the places I could be in the world with all of the privileges I have. Yet, I have chosen to stand on a dusty corner in a forgotten part of the world sweating profusely, avoiding wandering bulls and listening to clucking chickens. Indeed, there is nowhere else I would rather be.

Life continues to be good in "La Divina." Santiago has recently learned to crawl and his mobility has created more work for us. He is also beginning to babble often saying "Dadadadada" and everybody in the community loves him especially the girls. As for Elizabeth, she will soon offer a class on pregnancy and early mothering for the women in the community. She also took a number of great photos which you can check out at the link below. Finally, my work is going well and I have enjoyed chatting, working, walking, eating, praying, and playing soccer with community members, NGO directors, religious leaders, and kids.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/creativeapps/slideShow/Main.jsp?token=181871468703%3A676527322

New pictures from Honduras

2009-10-29T13:53:00.001-07:00

click here to see some new pics from Honduras.

Honduras Update Number 4—Two Friends

2009-10-29T07:44:00.001-07:00

In order to illustrate who we spend time with I will describe the life situations of two of our friends —Felipe and Julio.

On the one hand, Felipe is a thirty-four year old dark-skinned "watchyman" or guard of the area where we are staying. He is a skinny but strong man with striking facial features; if you look him in the eye you know he is not one to cross. Deep wrinkles and sun damage also highlight his personal story--a narrative of struggle, of working in the fields, of survival.

He has lived his entire life, except for a two-year undocumented stint in the U.S., in the Valle de Amarateca in a town called Rio Frio. His family consists of four kids (though the oldest lives with his first wife in another town), is married to a twenty-three year old women from the same town and works a full-time 12 hours a day seven day a week job as the guard and picks up occasional work making shovel handles from pine branches. In this second job he receives a total of nine dollars for eight hours of work.

Felipe spends his free time playing soccer with his friends and relatives in Rio Frio, attending an evangelical church, raising his kids and caring for his wife. He almost never leaves the Valle as it costs too much and perhaps does not have a reason to do so. Although he does own a house made of brick and mud, he has little savings and when his youngest son was recently ill the family had to go without their normal luxury of soda and the dog had to scrounge around the community as there were not the usual scraps of food to feed him.

Although not well-educated, I believe he has a sixth grade education, Felipe is very aware of the current political situation and has no problem explaining the details of the state of affairs with unusual clarity. He is also absolutely un-intimated by me and my education or by Elizabeth and her occupation as a nurse. Recently, we had a friendly argument about the causes of poverty in Honduras and though I know he respects my opinion, he was utterly unconvinced by my comments. In addition, when his son was sick and Elizabeth was offering Felipe and his wife some advice, he interrupted her and explained to her what he knew to be the problem.

On the other hand, Julio is a thirty-four year old lighter-skinned engineer who works for the NGO that built the community. He is a bit overweight with an omnipresent smile and a joke or two at the ready. He is always well-dressed with ironed pants and collared shirts and a clean short haircut. University-educated and the son of a nurse and topographer, his time in the fields has consisted of managing the work others.

Julio is from Tegucigalpa, has traveled throughout Central America, and commutes in his Toyota 4-Runner. He is married to Ceidy, a thirty-year-old dentist from Otoro, and they have been trying for five years to get pregnant (and now are!). Although he leaves his house around 8am, he usually arrives at work around 9:30am due to traffic, leaves around 4 and arrives home around 6pm. He does not work on the weekends but takes English classes and is extremely involved the Catholic Church where he was married.

Julio and Ceidy own a two-story house in a good part of Tegucigalpa and have recently purchased a second car. They spend almost all of their free time either with family or friends from the church and Julio is an avid soccer player and fan. Almost every Sunday he organizes a 4-on-4 soccer game with friends at a local university where they rent a field for about $15 an hour. Money is much less of an issue for him than for Felipe.

Julio is also very politically involved and can argue his point with the best of them. We often discuss numerous social issues and come to a general agreement about the way the world is. His viewpoint is often based in fact and hard evidence and when in doubt we check our facts using reliable sources on the internet.

So it is. I enjoy spending time (in conversation and on the soccer field) with both men and have learned much from each.

Honduras Update 5—A heavy heart

2009-10-29T06:28:00.001-07:00

I write this to you on a quiet Wednesday as I break from work and overlook the beauty that is Honduras. Corn tufts sway in the wind and the clouds curl slowly over the mountain tops. Rain will come soon, as it does about four times a week, to replenish the forests and crops while at the same time cleaning the streets and sidewalks of human debris.

Last week in Tegucigalpa I ran into one of my old students Miguel from the orphanage. I had worked with him and another student, Orlando, for more than a year on the reading, writing and math skills so they could keep up with their grade level. I grew found of them both and loved and treated them like little brothers.

Miguel had grown significantly since I had said goodbye seven years ago. Now twenty, he was good-looking, mature, and strong from cutting weeds with a machete six days a week. This day he was wearing an old U.S. used (Goodwill) t-shirt, jeans that had flakes of mud at the cuffs and old brown shoes. His smile was the same with straight white teeth which contrasted against his dark complexion and black hair. His personality—distracted from undiagnosed ADHD, good humored but with a less than average intellect--remained the same.

He began to share his story with me of the last few years. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to tell. He ran away from the orphanage with his sister to Tegucigalpa about a year or two after I left. He has been living with her ever since taking part time work when possible, hanging out at the mall when not. He has returned to school since he left the orphanage and has little desire to continue doing something he consistently failed at. His life is led a day at a time with no plans for the future and no current preoccupations. It was good to see him and catch up.

However, he had more to tell me about Orlando. Orlando had left the orphanage as well and returned to his "home" of Santa Rosa de Copan. I note home in quotation marks as he only lived there a few years before arriving at Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos orphanage. Miguel then took his thumb and made a horizontal arc across his neck—Orlando had been murdered only two months ago.

It brings me great sadness to think about Orlando as a ten-year-old boy, bright eyed and excited about coming to my class. Many, many people gave much of themselves to offer this kid, who had a terribly hard life to begin with, an opportunity, a chance to make something of himself. And that was taken away with his life at age eighteen; all of that work, his generous spirit, his love of soccer, everything.

Currently, Honduras has the highest murder rate in the world. To put it in perspective, Honduras had about 58 murders for every 100,000 people in 2008, the United States had about six, and Mexico had about eleven. This in a country that never had a civil war like its neighbors, that has been the closest ally to the United States over the last century, has had more Peace Corp volunteers than any other country in the world, and is wealthy in natural resources. It makes me wonder whether I should move from studying post-disaster community development to crime reduction strategies, especially among young people.

Often I try to find the bright side in every situation but I do not really see one right now. It just sucks to have a friend, a little brother who I did my best to love and support, no longer have a future.

Update on my research

2009-10-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

The contacts I made a year ago (and originally three years before then) have come through in an amazing way. My wife, six-month-old son, and I were permitted to stay in the center of Divina Providencia (the focus of my investigation) and only a few miles from my other site, Ciudad España. Although living in the center of town sounds ideal for ethnographic research, the loud honking buses, the kindergarten in the backyard, and adult night classes all contributed to a crabby baby and cranky parents. Fortunately, we were able to move four hundred yards down the road to a small home where four Catholic nuns had lived. Tranquilo would be about the best word to describe the new place and we all sleep better hearing the lapping of the river rather than the roaring of engines. Fundación Cristo del Picacho, the organization that is sponsoring our stay, has been extremely supportive of my work, especially after I presented a PowerPoint presentation to the board of directors. They have given me full access to all of their documents, their phone numbers for future interviews, and an open timeframe to stay. However, to be clear about my role and personal boundaries I have explained to them that my investigation will illustrate the positive and negative of their organization and their community development efforts in comparison to that of two or three other non-governmental organizations and communities. I am very aware how living in one community and being supported in this way by one NGO could affect my objectivity. I plan to continually be self-reflexive on how these factors influence my judgment. As a show of respect both for the community and the Fundación I volunteered to put on a soccer tournament for the community children as well as present my initial conclusions to the Fundación board before I leave.
Two other institutions (The Red Cross of Honduras and CESAL[a Spanish development NGO]) have also been extremely generous with their time and their documents as I continue to learn about the trajectory of each post-disaster community as well as their role in shaping (or not) the culture, politics, and social control mechanisms within the community. I have interviewed a number of major actors within each organization and have gathered a number of their documents including previous studies which will enable me to highlight changes over time. Similar to my promise to the Fundación, I have discussed with the Red Cross staff and CESAL about putting on a second valley-wide tournament for adults. I also committed to presenting to both organizations my findings at the end of my stay.
The support I have received from these organizations has encouraged me to expand my study from two to four communities. This is an exciting prospect as it will give greater depth and variance to my initial project. With funds given by the SSRC, I have hired one assistant and will hire three university students who will help me conduct an ambitious 600 surveys across three communities. Currently, my assistant is compiling a dataset of all of the crimes in each community, the first of its kind in the valley. This will help me compare delinquency across communities over time as well as benefit law enforcement by illustrating when and where the most common crimes occur. The surveys will cover attitudes, opinions, and important demographics enabling me to make causal inferences about the effects of NGO practices.
Outside of my research agenda I have engaged with the community on different levels and in different ways. Most prominently, having a six month-old child has offered excellent entrée into the lives of families in Divina Providencia. A child provides instant rapport providing something significant to talk, complain, laugh, and joke about. In addition, participating in community events, playing soccer with the kids and adults, eating at the local street stalls and being visible in all of the neighborhoods has gained me the trust of many community members. I have also been interviewed for a national TV show about my experience in Divina Providencia as well as my research.
The difficulties I have run into have been on the national level, especially the political drama surrounding the ousting and return of President Mel Zelaya. A strict curfew, a closed embassy, major strikes, protests, highways that are shut down, and a highly divided populace have created some hurdles to connecting with interviewees and obtaining necessary documents. It has also put me in an awkward position vis a vis my opinion about the current situation. When asked I usually respond with a white lie about not knowing enough about each side’s argument to judge. While this protects my position in the community, I am not used to hiding my political opinion.
In contrast to the difficulties I have found that my project will be both practically and theoretically useful. Practically, as I compare four post-disaster communities I am learning about best practices by NGOs and how organizations and communities work together. My investigation also shows how trauma must be dealt with by the NGO and the critical “moment” of the first year in creating a new community culture. Theoretically, many of the common development strategies useful in non-disaster settings are not applicable or have the opposite effect in post-disaster communities. In addition, my initial impression is that particular relationships between NGOs and communities have counter-intuitive relationships. Paternalistic NGOs rather than more “solidarity” oriented NGOs seemed to have more success in creating social control mechanisms. However, these are still preliminary assertions.
On a different note, a last second goal by the U.S. national soccer team against Costa Rica promoted Honduras to the World Cup for only the second time in the country’s history. I became a local hero with pats on the back and handshakes for this even though I had nothing to do with it. I have taken the opportunity to celebrate with the country—indeed, a nation that is in need of some hope and optimism with the political crisis, economic recession, and increasing social problems, especially crime.

2009-10-16T15:39:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,
First, I have received more than a few concerned emails about our safety under the current political situation. We are safe and content in our little community about 35 kilometers from the capital. The political problems do not really affect us other than the concerns I mentioned already (although there was a recent decree passed that if 5 or more people were meeting and discussing politics they could be arrested even in your own home). Yet, the two governments are finally starting to dialogue--a good sign for the country. Please do not worry about us...I will keep you updated as we have internet access.

Second, all is well here. We are visited by kids on average four times a day for any number of reasons: to see Santi, to take a walk with Elizabeth, to pick fruit from our trees, to ask us to speak english, and to ask me to play soccer. It has been fun but at times a little too much. As part of our noise and privacy reduction program, we are moving from the center of the community to one of the outskirts (about four hundred yards). It was a building originally built for religious congregations and had been the home of a small group of nuns who ran the daycare and some workshops. It has a beautiful view and is super tranquilo. I will send photos next time.

Third, our family. Santiago now has his first tooth, is sitting up on his own and loves to take baths. He has also earned the name Bam-Bam from some of our friends due to his high energy and love of making noise.

Elizabeth is doing well and is excited about the move. She has made a number of friends, especially other mothers, with whom she is learning to cook Honduran style. She is also thinking about how to volunteer at the clinic.

As for me, I am playing 4-aside soccer almost everyday, working on putting on a tournament with the help of The Futbol Project, and enjoying taking an hour long walk with Santiago every morning. My research is also going very well--indeed, I have been so successful at gaining access that I will adding a third community into my study.

In addition, two days ago I gave a presentation to the Fundacion Cristo del Picacho, my primary sponsoring organization in Honduras. They were so excited about my project that they have offered to let us stay as long as we want and have given their full support of what I am doing. As of now I am tempted to stay longer but that is a family decision to be made next spring.

Un fuerte abazo (a big hug),
The Alaniz Family

Honduras Political Situation

2009-09-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

I thought I should keep you updated on the dramatic turn of events in Honduran politics. Yesterday the ousted president of Honduras, Mel Zelaya of the Liberal party, returned early in the morning under threat of arrest. He is now staying at the Brazilian embassy as he tries to re-gain his former position. Micheletti, the current de facto president, upon learning of his return had all of the phone lines and TV stations shut down for a number of hours to avoid Mel supporters from overrunning the capitol, Tegucigalpa. In addition, Micheletti placed a curfew on the entire country announcing that everyone must stay in their homes from 4pm on Monday until 6pm today (Wednesday) or be arrested. The military and police are currently carrying out this mandate in the major cities though, as far as I can tell, not in the rural areas. All flights have been cancelled and the highways are shut down.

Here is an up-to-date news article

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8269073.stm

As for us, all is tranquilo in Divina Providencia. People are out and about and perhaps for the only day there are no buses honking. We were recently introduced at the community mass and at a community meeting so people now know us and say hello. Santiago is doing great, just recovered from his first cold, and Elizabeth is beginning to make some friends. I got my butt kicked on the soccer field last night for being out of shape and work is going really well. The political situation really does not affect our family and unless things get really really bad, we will continue on our merry way. Plus, as a Fulbrighter, we have the support of the U.S. state department and embassy.

Let us hope that this situation is resolved in the best way possible for Honduras.

Honduras description 1

2009-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hola a todos,

Community—Ciudad Divina Providencia

Drive north from Tegucigalpa on the highway for about 35 minutes and soon you will descend into a beautiful and mountainous valley called the Valle de Amarateca. You will notice thousands of pine trees, green scrub brush, and pockets of identical houses scattered about the valley. Billows of smoke rise from the Café Indo coffee processing plant on the right and the Café Maya plant on the left. The smell is inviting on a calm day. Soon you are in the lowest part of the valley where streaks of brown illustrate the dirt roads that wind their way up into the mountains well worn by foot, tire, and hoof. Take the last road on the left--the one before you head up the mountain on the other side of the valley. That’s it. Remember to hold onto the seat in front of you to avoid hitting your head on the roof due to the dips and bumps. Climb around the cow pastures, honk on the corners so that oncoming traffic knows you are there, and follow the sign up the hill to Divina Providencia. There, workers cutting grass will stop and wave or nod wondering who is entering their community. If they know you they will shout with a raised hand “compa” or “tio” endearing names that remind you of the friendship you maintain. Be careful of the skinny dogs and roaming cattle on the road and as you enter the community you will notice a microcosm of the glory and sadness that is Honduras. People laughing alongside burning trash, kids playing barefoot with a flat soccer ball on a dirt field, abandoned cars alongside beautiful gardens, and gentle smiles that turn into growls when talking about politics. In this country, the second poorest in the Western Hemisphere by some standards, life is both simpler and more complicated than in the U.S.

As you enter the center of town just past the central park, notice the Catholic Church on the right. It is the biggest building in town by far but is simply built with a red roof and about a dozen trees surrounding the cement structure. Now look left—the brick building, the length of two cars is the old pre-school that was run by Capuchin nuns. They left about two years ago and the place has been closed, to the great dismay of the community, ever since. Holler at the gate so that we can let you in. Would you like some coffee? It happens to be out nicest amenity alongside our refrigerator and stove. However, both only work when there is electricity which is most of the time—just like our water. No, I am not complaining, just noting how life is here. No, that sound is not a train—it is the bus. The drivers believe that laying on the horn will bring more customers. Though good for them, it tends to wake up the babies in the community including our own Santiago. Now relax. You are in the company of friends, out of the heat of the sun, tasting some sweet bread and laughing at our stories.

The maps below highlight both where the orphanage is (the black star) and where we will be staying (black star in a red bubble on the far left). Please ignore the red box on bigger map as well as the misspelling of Central.

Listen

2008-11-19T13:50:00.000-08:00

Above is the cover of a book called "Nunca Mas" which details the atrocities of the Guatemalan government against their own people. For me the photo conveys pain and hope--pain in the shoulder bones and hope that those bones are now wings. May we listen to all those who cry out in suffering whether down the street or across the world.

World on Fire

2008-11-19T13:48:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to share one of my favorite music videos by Sara McLachlan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzoNInZ2ClQ

Enjoy.

Judgement

2008-10-16T13:13:00.000-07:00

I have this annoying habit of judging those around me. The guy who cuts me off on his bike when I am running is an inconsiderate jerk. The woman who is talking loudly on her cell phone in the elevator is selfish. That old guy, that young girl, that mother, that professor, that attendant, that .... you know what I mean.

And when I judge, when I get angry, I not only assume incorrectly a person's motives, I get caught up with their behavior. I let their actions dictate how I feel during that day.

How quickly I lose myself to others! How little control over my mind I have! It seems that if I were to take a broader view of the world--the view I most often like to take--I would see the great suffering and have compassion and empathy for those who are just passing along that suffering. Instead I get angry and judgmental and pass along that suffering to the next poor soul.

I recommit to turning my judgment into empathy. Not that this is never a time and place for setting boundaries and holding others accountable. But rather in my day to day relationship with those around me.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"

2008-09-16T11:32:00.001-07:00

So what does it mean to be the change you wish to see in the world? I think it is simple. If you do not want hate around you, then do not hate. If you do not want poverty and hungry children, then share your wealth. If you want peace, find peace within yourself, in your family, and in your community.

It is easy to want the world to be better. The hard part is turning the thoughts into positive actions.

Neutrality as an impossibility

2008-09-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember I have been told that there is an objective and neutral "truth" out there. Scientists are supposed to discover this truth and share it with the world. Employers, legislators, bureaucrats, teachers, and parents are also supposed to have this objectivity/neutrality toward their subordinates in deciding who gets the job, who benefits from a government program, what grades students receive for their efforts, etc.

Unfortunately, we live in a subjective world. All of our social choices are influenced by thousands of factors making any decision neutrality impossible. Our thoughts and actions cannot be neutral! What this means on a practical level is that every one of our decisions will have either a positive or negative impact on the world.

So, if now you realize that everything you do, every thought you have in passing will change the world in some way, what kind of world are you building?

Long-term Development in Post Disaster Communities

2008-09-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

This is my current Dissertation research project

In October 1998, Hurricane Mitch swept out of the north and smashed directly into Honduras. Torrential rains deforested hills and caused landslides that buried villages. Two dams exploded, filling the capital Tegucigalpa’s downtown with eighteen feet of mud. The immediate human toll was immense: 5,273 dead, 11,085 missing, and 427,138 people in shelters. The international community responded to President Carlos Flores’s “SOS” with a large relief effort involving substantial long-term development programs. Ten years later, these programs present fascinating evidence of successful and unsuccessful development projects.
Two communities in particular, Ciudad Divina Providencia (CDP) and Ciudad España (CE), offer a strategic opportunity for a comparative analysis of community development, given their similarities immediately after the hurricane in contrast to their dramatically different situations today. In response to Hurricane Mitch, NGOs built CDP and CE to accommodate citizens from different parts of Tegucigalpa who had lost their homes. Members of each community maintained comparable working and lower-middle class socio-economic statuses and racial homogeneity, and their communities had similar local infrastructure. Both CDP and CE were resettled in the Amarateca Valley, eighteen miles northwest of the capital.
But re-settlement in the communities has been remarkably different. CDP thrives economically, sustains a low crime rate, and maintains high civic participation. There is a general sense of well-being and safety for vulnerable populations such as women and children. In contrast, gang problems, crime, and other social ills such as drug and alcohol abuse plague CE. This “natural experiment” of two similar communities beginning anew but experiencing drastically different outcomes offers a unique occasion for advancing understanding of community development and the mechanisms that shape developmental trajectories.
This research will address two theoretical and practical questions. First, why did each community experience such different trajectories? More specifically, how did each community mobilize resources, internal and external, to rebuild? Second, what role did external agencies play in each community’s development outcome, and how did these facilitate or inhibit effective community development? Within this second question I will pay particular attention to the efforts of the two NGOs involved, Fundación Cristo de El Picacho, which developed CDP, and the Red Cross, which developed CE, and examine how development philosophies and practices within each organization shaped the rebuilding process.
Theoretically, my study will speak to debates in the development and political and economic sociology literatures concerning how communities mobilize resources in processes of long-term development against a backdrop of community and organizational philosophies. Moreover, the research contributes to cross-disciplinary debates about the effectiveness of organizational development philosophies (Fundación’s focus on building community versus the Red Cross’ greater emphasis on individual self-improvement). Practically, my research will be relevant to policy makers, NGOs, and community leaders interested in long-term development.

Demand Change

2008-07-09T12:12:00.000-07:00

Demand Change

As a young man I felt that anyone with enough passion and fortitude could address an issue of inequality and do something to fix it. I did not have the audacity to believe that the whole problem could be overcome by one person. I did believe however that the major reason inequality is so persistent in our world is because so few people actually utilize their power. We are lulled to sleep by the unfulfilling materialism and creature comforts that surround us.

While I maintain all of the same opinions today, I am less judgmental of myself and others. Getting angry at someone for living a way I disagree with does little good in the broader world. Rather, I believe loving that person, empathizing with her, and the empowering her with knowledge and strategies to live "better" is both more productive and offers a greater chance of success.

Inequality and Social Change

2008-07-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

I am currently working on a paper discussing how "engaged" Americans believe social change happens. I have identified five belief types, as noted below. Belief types can be defined as a categorical belief about a phenomenon, in this case the location of inequality (in the local or the structural) and the location of the solution to that inequality (in the individual or somewhere else). Almost every response maps onto this diagnosis/prognosis template.

I believe these belief types map onto larger cultural narratives in the U.S. For example, the individualist follows the cultural script of the American Dream, believing the solution to inequality is found within the individual pulling themselves up by the bootstraps. The voluntarist follows the civil rights script, where protesting and voting are means of addressing inequality effectively. The authoritative/disciple remind me of the follower type who want strong leadership or someone else to solve issues of inequality. The observer are those who see the problem as out there, as in the government and feel the responsibility for solving that problem is out there as well. However, I don't believe they have a script (cultural narrative) because they do not need one. Since they are removed both from the problem of inequality and the solution, they do not need a cohesive explanation of social change. There is one other category that doesn't fit in completely. I call this fifth group the self-reflective voluntarist who is both self-reflective like the individualist but also wants to change the structure. Since this is a hybrid group, I also believe their narratives is both practical (I can make a difference) and broad enough to offer a solid way to engage structure.

Letting Go...

2008-07-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

I recently received a haircut only to find that some of my hair had fallen out. How could this happen to a newly minted thirty year-old?

Upon reflection, I realized that I had set myself up for something to fail. Over spring (which seemed like an extended winter) I had focused all of my attention on school and a few non-profit activities, leaving little time for myself or my relationships. I worked early mornings and would have meetings late into the evening. And I was always telling myself I should do more.

Just before the semester had ended is when I got my hair cut and realized something had to change. If that wasn't enough, I also suffered from bronchitis for two long months. My body in its infinite wisdom literally showed me that I had lost control of my own life.

What I have learned is that I have to let go. I have to let go of all of the self-imposed anxiety about school and about time. I have to let go of self-criticism condemning the greatness that I am as I am. And I have to let go of unrealistic expectations that go unmet and contribute to the downward spiral of self hatred.

I am who I am and I am going to love myself for my gifts and my faults.

And I encourage you to do the same.

Rome, Italy

2008-07-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

If you are ever in Rome, please stay at BB Roma Vaticano Bed and Breakfast (www.bbromavaticano.it) Tel: +39 338 7673180

It is located right behind the Vatican and easy walking distance to the subway and many museums.

Giovani, the owner, is an awesome guy who speaks good English and is very hospitable.

Contexts.org

2008-06-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

Check out Contexts magazine! I am on the board and write for blog and discoveries section.

www.contexts.org

Our biggest fear

2008-06-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

"Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate

Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure

It is our light, not our darkness that scares us the most.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God

Your playing small doesn't serve the world

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that

other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God

that is within us.

It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone

And as we let our own light shine

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others."

Nelson Mandela

1994 Inaugural speech

Why get up in the morning?

2008-06-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked why I get up in the morning. I immediately thought of this speech and so I wanted to share it with all of you.

Martin Luther King Jr. has this amazing speech called "The Drum Major" in which he describes his funeral.

Audio
http://www.hpol.org/record.php?id=84 Especially minute 16 on

Video (MLKs funeral)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_keJ6I4QoC4

Build a Better World

2008-03-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

The name of this blog is inspired by the Dalai Lama's quote:

"With the realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world."

Let me know how we can work together to build a better world.